


The one where they can't stay professional

by HelloforChu (tasibi), tasibi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: After the war (I went back to New york), Family Angst, Fangst???, Homophobia in chapter 13, M/M, Orphan Keith, Poly Ocs, Pride Parade dates, Protective Lance (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Trans Character, Trans Male Character, chat fic, idk man, keith is GAY as fuck, klangst, lance is bi as fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2018-12-15 03:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 5,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11797782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasibi/pseuds/HelloforChu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasibi/pseuds/tasibi
Summary: BiBiHeteros: ...BiBiHeteros: I can't even deny it.





	1. Space DEAD, ehemm, Dad

**Author's Note:**

> ......
> 
> 1st group chat fic...
> 
> ....
> 
> Well um, just letting you know some things 
> 
> \- This is set during a time skip where they are done with the war and are basically just dealing woth peace conference and diplomatic meetings.  
> \- Lance and Hunk are 21, Shiro is 23, (Allura is 10,023, lol) Idk how old Coran is but lets just guess he's 10, 0054. Keith is 22.  
> \- Lance has a prostethic leg, Pidge's hearing is pretty bad since she had the full brunt of an explosion during a recon mission. Keith has paranoia, Shiro has his good ol' PTSD, and everyone has a few more scars.  
> -None of the stuff above is mentioned, they rally don't let it get them down and act like they normally would.

**BetterThanY'all added: _Fuck Sleep, OverusedGayJoke, Pwetty lil death, WhyamIstillalive,_ _Cookalil,_ and  _MuscleMan_**

**BetterThanY'all named the chat --- > ** **_No one likes pineapple pizza._ **

**BetterThanY'all:** Was'good, peeps.

**Fuck Sleep:** Lance, I designed this for  _diplomatic_ purposes, not for a group chat where you will most likely spam memes.

**OverusedGayJoke:** I find it hard to believe this chat would stay on the "important mission" range 

**Fuck Sleep:**..

**Fuck Sleep:** I hate it when you're right.

* * *

_15:35_

**BetterThanY'all:** _Holyfuckheissoprecious.png_

**Cookalil:** I thought the scowl on his face was always permanent, I did not know he could smile. I HAVE BEEN ON A TEAM WITH THIS GUY FOR 5 YEARS STRAIGHT AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE GUY SMILE LIKE THAT, JUST WHAT. DIHSJXSUJSHEU.

**Pweety lil death:** I believe I saw him smile once.

**WhyamIstillalive:** Ok, 1stly. Whendidthathappen. Secondly, what is up with everyones names, who made them?

**MuscleMan:** I believe it was Lance!

**Fuck Sleep: *** cough * You're favorite paladin * cough *

**MuscleMan:** I respect you paladins all the same!

**Fuck Sleep:** Surrreeee, and I sleep.

**Fuck Sleep:** And before Shiro asks I'll change my name.

**_Fuck Sleep_ ** **changed their name to _Gremlin_**

**Gremlin:** Better?

_**WhyamIstillalive** _ **changed their name to _Space ~~dead~~ Dad_**

**SpaceDad:** Better.

**SpaceDad:** _But when did you see Keith smile, 'Lura??_

**Pweety lil death:** I was looking for Lance and Keith and I entered the lounge,

**Pweety lil death:** And there they were, curled up against each other with Lance carding his fingers through Keith's hair, and Keith was smiling a lot. I didn't have the heart to disturb them. So, I left.

**Gremlin:** _Gayyyy_

* * *

 

_16:04_

**BetterThanY'all:** I love how Shiro has just excepted his role as Team dad 

**Cookalil:** _I mean.._

**Cookalil:**  Its like the title was  _made_ for him.

**OverusedGayJoke:** You got that right. And Lance.

**BetterThanY'all:** ¿Yeah, Mullet?

_**OverusedGayJoke** _ **changed _BetterThanY'all_ name to  _BiBiHeteros_**

**BiBiHeteros:**...

**BiBiHeteros:** _I can't even deny it._

* * *


	2. Meetings and such

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Space Dad changed their name to Space dead
> 
> BiBiHeteros: Too soon man, too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yah, it's the second chapter already.

**BiBiHeteros joined** **-** **-** **\-- > ** ** _No one likes pineapple pizza_ **

**Gremlin:** Anyways, Allura, did you commission our suits like I asked?

 **Pweety lil death:** Yes, I did. They should arrive in about 2 cycles

 **Pweety lil death:** Oh, hello Lance!

 **Gremlin:** Sup

 **BiBiHeteros:** Oh wow, I'm actually greeted for like, the first time in five years.

 **BiBiHeteros:** Anyways, I'm here because Keith is dealing with a nightmare and I managed to calm him down but he's still like, y'know.

 **SpaceDad:** I'll be there in a few ticks

* * *

_10:01_

**Cookalil:** We are a very weird group of human beings.

 **MuscleMan:** And aliens.

 **Cookalil:** _And_ aliens. I mean like, Lance, S hiro, and Keith have PTSD, Lance is working a prostethic leg, Shiro has his prostethic arm, Pidge has gender dysorphia, I have anxiety. Allura and Coran lost their whole race, we have all been fighting a war for 5 years and at the beggining we were only teenagers.

 **Cookalil:** And we missed a lot, like, while college kids our age were off getting drunk, we were  _fighting an intergalactic war._

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Preach.

 **BiBiHeteros:** _What did you do in your college years?_ Oh, yknow, I fought an intergalactic war for five years.

 **Gremlin:** Its true tho 

* * *

_14:09_

**SpaceDad:** Guys.

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Yeah, Shiro?

**Gremlin:** _?_

**BiBiHeteros:**  Yes, daddy~o

 **SpaceDad:** Don't ever call me that again, anyways.

 **Gremlin:** I love how you only responded to Lance, but your name says otherwise.

_**Space Dad** _ **changed their name to** **_Space Dead_ **

**BiBiHeteros:** Too soon man, too soon.

 **Space Dead:** Anyways , I wanted to tell you guys that Allura is getting ready to alert Earth of our presence.

 **BiBiHeteros:** We are going home???

 **Space Dead:** Yes, we are Lance. And the first day will be meetings and such, but on the second day you can visit home.

 **BiBiHeteros:** Yeshhhhh!!!!

* * *

 

_15:00_

**BiBiHeteros:** I can't wait to get home

 **Cookalil:** I second that 

 **Gremlin:** Same.

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Lucky you.

 **BiBiHeteros:** Oh no, Mullet. I am introducing you to my family  _pronto._ By the time this week is over you'll be adopted into the family, my little siblings will love your cat ears, ya furry.

 **OverusedGayJoke:** I AM NOT A FURRY!  _But..._ I would like to meet your family too.

 **Gremlin:** ;) #MarriedCouplefights

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking next chapter would be in a 3rd person view, it'll be Lance and Keith interacting with Lances fam. Yes or no?


	3. INTERVENTION!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intervention before chapter 3!!!

_**TasiYourLassie** _ **added _ManuChiplow, EmyRemmy,_ and  _KaylaKillya_ to ---->  _WHAT AM I GONNA DO_**

_6:00_

**TasiYourLassie:** _Guys GUYS GUYS, HWLP HELP OMG HELP_

**ManuChiplow:** What's wrong????

 **EmyRemmy:** what is going on this time, make it quick because I'm in the middle of talking to my dealer.

 **TasiYourLassie:** People like my stuff!!!!

**KaylaKillya:** _And????_

**TasiYourLassie:** I'm  _freaking out!!!_

 **EmyRemmy:** Ppl like your stuff all the time, why tf are you wasting your time texting us

 **TasiYourLassie:** Well...

 **ManuChiplow:** I know where this is going, so I'm just gonna-

_**ManuChiplow** _ **left** _**WHAT AM I GONNA DO** _

**TasiYourLassie:** _Idontreallyknowwhattodoforthe3rdchapter._

**KaylaKillya:** You didn't plan a plot???

 **TasiYourLassie:** No! I DIDN'T KNOW PPL WOULD LIKE IT!

 **EmyRemmy:** Then why don't you ask your readers what they want to see for chapter 3?? 

 **TasiYourLassie:** Good idea!

_**TasiYourLassie** _ **left _WHAT AM I GONNA DO_**

**KaylaKillya:** Why does she only talk to us when she's in trouble?

 **EmyRemmy:** I don't know.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YAH, I don't really know what I should do for the earth chapter. Should I make IT fluffy or angst of maybe chapter 4 would just be a combination???


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lances disappears   
> His family breaks  
> Lance reappears   
> His family-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey!!  
> So i did go with Alexandras point of view afterall.

When Lance had disappeared it had hit everyone hard, it had especially took a toll on Alejandro, Lances older brother and they were both practically joined at the hip. Someone could have easily mistaken the two to be twins since the were almost identical copies of each other. Alejandro had the beautiful caramel colored skin that ran in the family, his eyes were not as bright as Lances blue, but they still glowed. He had gone through a "phase" at one point and bleached his hair blond, the hair complimented him so he kept the color and side cut.

The morning they received the news it was the worst. They all sat around the dinner table, Mami joining in on the conversation with the chattering pre-teens twins, Leila and Natalia. The Latina girls were talking about getting hair extensions (seriously? They're like, 12?) When the eldest brothers phone, David with an awesome undercut, began to ring. Now, if the McClains were a normal family no one would react, they would probably just silence themselves. But the family of 7 rarely got phone calls, so, yeah. 

He couldn't really pick up on the chatter, all he heard was mumbling, and a soft  _sorry_. David gulped, then hung up, he closed the blue flip phone and turned to his family.

"Lance is missing"

* * *

 

Days had rolled by, then weeks, months,  _years_. They were all out at the beach now, a memorial placed under Lances favorite tree, they had all given up hope he would be found. The Garrison had told them that Lance, with 2 other caddets, had disappeared without a trace. The family had found it extremley suspicious but didn't speak up. So, after 5 years of waiting they gave up, and during Lances funeral his mother seethed with rage, furious at herself for not even having a body to send off.

Alejandro has grown to despise space.

* * *

 

Alexandra is thanking space.

She had been on her phone ( A Samsung Galaxy 5 she had gotten for her 18th) Sometimes she would look in the mirror and feel sadness, Lance and her had promised to come out together, while she was Trans and Lance was Bi they were both support beams for each other. And she really wished she could see the proud smile on his face she knew he would have after she came out at age 17. Alex had been on her phone and a sudden message from a contact on her phone popped up, a contact she couldn't bring herself to delete,  _Lance._

She was practically jumping of the walls at the moment, her fingers moving at a pace she didn't know they could move at, the message was the first one of  _years._

**Lanceyo:**

Hey Alejandro! Wait, you might have already come out, dammit. Anyways,  My dudette , I am going to be down there soon! I was,,, fighting a war, but now I can come back! Pidge said this signal won't last long since we're in,,, well,,  _Space_

ANYWAYS! Tell the fam I love them.

Te Quiero

~~Lance. 

Alex flew of her bunk bed with as much grace as a experienced dancer would, she practically went sonic speed to the living room, where her family was sitting, each individual all doing their separate things.

"Mama, Papi, David, Leila y Natalia!" She shouted for them to hear "This is urgent!" 

The family was immediately around her, her mother and father looking at her with confusion and her siblings with interest as she scrolled through her phone, she clicked the contact and flipped it back to her family. They all gasped in surprise and Alex could already see David's watering eyes, not like she wasn't on the brink of sobbing either.

And then, they heard a soft knock on the door.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) Cliffhanger 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Iamsosorry
> 
> So yeah, the next will be from...... Lance & Keith's POV!!


	5. Homeword Bound

_**BiBiHeteros** _ **joined ---- >  _No one likes pineapple pizza_**

**BiBiHeteros:** GUYSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

 **Gremlin:** What is it this time????

 **BiBiHeteros:** I just texted my sister and I think I sounded cool but Idontreallyknow and I told them I'll be there in a tick, BUT IM ALREADY ON THE FRONT DOOR STEP AND AJISBSNXJ

 **Space Dead:** Ok, calm down, wheres Keith?

 **BiBiHeteros:** Um, Keith is freaking out as well, he's like , nervous he'll give them the wrong impression. 

 **OverusedGayJoke:** THIS IS NOT OK, WHY AM I SO NERVOUS

 **Gremlin:** Its like bringing the girl/boy friend to the fam.

 **Cookalil:** It  _is_ exactly like that, #PreIntroJitters

 **Space Dead:** _Ok,_ I need you, Lance,  to ring the doorbell.

 **BiBiHeteros:** Ok, ok, I did it.

 **BiBiHeteros:** HOLY XURKRAK!! I HEAR VOICES

**OverusedGayJoke:** _I HEAR FOOTSTEPS._

**OverusedGayJoke:** OMG.

 **Space Dead:** Good luck, gays.

* * *

 

The old oak door creaked open softly, a chorus of collective gasps were drawn out from the rest of the McClain family as they stared at each other, a Korean boy only a few steps behind Lance. Rosa, Lances mother, stepped out of her shell shock and made her way slowly to the other McClain. She dragged one of her hands up, cupping her sons face.

"Lance..?"

He looked at her with fondness, then gave her a tearful smile.

"I'm home, Mama"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! So yah, sorry for the especially short chapter. My moms pretty sick and I am currently trying to bribe my sister into giving me her ice cream.


	6. Proud I survived

It was a mess of tearful smiles, hugs, and a scolding from his Mami. Keith would be lying if he said he didn't want some family like Lance's. Soon enough a handful of siblings turned their focus towards him, he stepped out of the cover of darkness and into the family townhouse. He saw Lance's family's eyes widen when he stepped under the cover of the lamp near a desk that was obviously made for a younger sibling. The first one to move was a girl who looked a lot like Lance, if Lance had bleached his hair blond and was a girl, then the girl would be an exact copy of him.

"Are you.." She paused in front of him, analyzing his Galran features "A furry?" Lance broke down in a fit of laughter, gasping for breath as he cackled. Keith growled at him.

"I..I told you you were my giant space cat samurai!" He wiped his face of any tears that had spilled when he laughed.

" _Mijo,_ Where were you all these  _años!_ " Lances mother stepped up to cup Lances face again, surveying what hd happened.

Keith knew that they all looked a little different from when they came. Pidge, Lance, and Keith were definitely the ones who changed the most. Pidge fully excepted themself as a Non-Binary person, they cut their hair so it was now flat on their nape, though some of the curliness stayed. Pidge had become more agile and had even begun to learn how to crack harder codes for the team, they was pretty awesome.

Keith had finally cut off his mullet (Lance told him to), over time his Galran features had begun to flaunt themselves on his physical appearance, he still kept his violet eyes since he was a half bread, but everything else changed. His hair had  _somehow_ become even softer (Or that's how Lance said it did) and grew that the Jet Black hair was tinged with purple streaks, his ears lengthened into something akin of cat ears. It benefits him on missions since he was faster, and had heighted senses.

Lance probably changed the most, he came in as a depressed teen with no one to let his wall collapse onto except his parents. He had let his hair be tied into a short pointail, he became broader and had more muscles. He had PTSD like the rest and even had a prostethic leg from a battle with Lotor. Halfway through their 3rd year he began to show his true self, showing he was extremley intelligent, people and startegy wise. Which is why they put him for conference and peace meetings, let him configure alliances and learn foreign tongues, he had even began to turn off his translator to speak with Allura and Coran in their native tongue, Altean. His demeanor showed all these changes broadly, not scared to hide what had happened and that he had survived it.

"Space, mama, and if you don't believe me-" He turned to look at the Korean-Galran mix "Just look at my boyfriend over there" 

The  _boyfriend_ part seemed to grab everyones attention as he was assaulted with another round of questions. 

"Ok, I'll explain from the start." Lance launched his family into a summary of what had happened, he didn't sugarcoat it, he told them the injuries, he did spare the details.

The whole time, no a single McClain took they're eyes off him.


	7. Existential Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has an existential crisis and Keith cant human

_**BiBiHeteros** _ **joined ---- >  _No one likes pineapple pizza_**

**BiBiHeteros:** _Theyareclimbinghim.png_

**BiBiHeteros:** I am going to marry this man.

 **Space Dead:** I'm assuming from that picture your family likes him

 **BiBiHeteros:** LIKE???

 **BiBiHeteros:** My lil sis just PROPOSED TO HIM

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Im fuckin crying Gay tears.

 **Cookalili:**???

 **OverusedGayJoke:** So,  this lil McClain child came up to me and was like "You're handsome, wanna be my husband?" And Lance just stomps over, puts a hand between her and me and just says, in a serious tone as he cuddles me "Hands off, hes mine:

 **OverusedGayJoke:** And now we are cuddling on the couch bcuz he wont let me go.

 **Gremlin:** I need to take a shower again, your guys's fluffy love life is contaminating my ace as fuck skin

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Deal with it.

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Also, Lances family believed every word Lance told them.

 **Gremlin:** If some dude came to my doorstep and said he came there while using a giant space lion and he came from space I would get him a cab and asked if he was on drugs.

 **BiBiHeteros:** My family has seen some shit, my grandma came up to me after I was done and whispered "The soldier may win in battle but his battle with the aftermath never stops" AND SHE JUST WALKS AWAY WHILE IM HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

 **OverusedGayJoke:** Sometimes I wonder if you're grandma fought a space war 2

 **BiBiHeteros:**....

**BiBiHeteros:** _HOLY SHIT_

* * *

 

_1:13_

**_Pwetty Lil Dead_  invited  _BiBiHeteros_ to --->  _Everything alright?_**

**Pwetty Lil Death:** Im assuming from the chat above everything turned out alright?

 **BiBiHeteros:** Yep, Keith was so confused with the kids tho, he was like "HOW DOES ONE HUMAN??"

 **BiBiHeteros:** But, srsly, Im so happy to be home right now.

 **Pwetty Lil Death:** Well, now you have stories to tell, scars to show, muscles to "show off", and a ticking time bomb boyfriend??

 **BiBiHeteros:** Thanks, 'Lura

 **Pwetty Lil Death:** No problem, Lance

 **BiBiHeteros:** Night

_**BiBiHeteros** _ **changed _Pwetty Lil Death_ 's name to  _Princessa Mama_**

**_BiBiHeteros_ left  _Everything Alright?_**

**Princessa Mama:** Lance!!

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I want so badly o write a certain SPECIAL scene ) Not nsfw ya pervs (But i have 2 wait a few more chapters)


	8. Still immature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the reply short CHAP. But I wanted to give u guys something so I typed this up!

_**BiBiHeteros** _ **joined \----->  _No one likes pineapple pizza_**

**BiBiHetros:** So

 **BiBiHetros:** Apparently, while we were gone Tech still evolved.

 **Gremlin:** Well, yeah, no shit Sherlock

 **BiBiHeteros:** Ahhh

 **BiBiHetros:** anyways, my sis Alex showed me a cool gadget.

 **Cookalil:** What was it?

 **BiBiHetros:** a quiznacking

 **BiBiHetros:** temporary vampirafication device.

**Gremlin:** _H O L Y S H I T_

**BiBiHetros:** my thoughts exactly 

 **BiBiHetros:** So, Keith got a hold of this device. And y'all know how much he loves vampires?

 **Cookalil:** I think Keith's Texan is running off on you

 **BiBiHetros:** shut up

 **BiBiHetros:** So, now he is a vampire and I am currently snapping a pick of him feeding off my arm.

**BiBiHetros:** _Isntheagoodvamp?.png_

**Gremlin:** What the Fuck do you two do in your free time

 **Gremlin:** wait, Fuck. Don't answer that.

 **BiBiHetros:** Pidge cursed!! Im calling Space Dad!!

 **Gremlin:** He's with Matt, how would u call him???

 **Space** **Dead:** I have been summoned.

**Space Dead:** _Oh_

**Space Dead:** Language, Pidge.

**Gremlin:** _English._

**BiBiHetros:** OHHHH, BURNNN!!

 **Space Dead:** fought a space war for five years and they somehow became more immature.

 **BiBiHetros:** Thanks.

 **BiBiHetros:** it's a talent.

 

 


	9. BloodBags and EmoVamps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPS IN 2 DAYS, WOAHHH

_**BiBiHeteros** _ **invited _Gremlin, OverusedGayJoke, Space Dead, Cookalil,_ and  _PrincessaMama_ to ** **_\---- > BloodFam!_ **

**MyMama:** Lancito, who are they?

 **BiBiHeteros:** Mami, this is my Space family, and boyfriend,

 **BiBiHeteros:** Space family, these are my blood relatives!

 **Gremlin:** Ciao gente nuova

**Space Dead:** こんにちは

**Cookalil:** talofa

** OverusedGayJoke: ** 안녕하세요

** AlexandraofNew: w h a t **

** BiBiHeteros:  ** GUYS! English!

** Gremlin: **  Lol #SorryNotSorry

** Cookalil: **  Hola, Senora Rosa, como estas?

** MyMama: **  Im great, how is my son and son-in-law doing?

** BiBiHeteros: **  M O M!!!

** MyMama: **  Lancey, you bring your friends to talk to me, it is my job as  a mother to spew embarrasing secrets.

** Gremlin: **  Please, do tell

** BiBiHeteros: **  MOMMMMM!!

** MyMama: **  Now, one time when he was 9...

* * *

 

_ 12:05 _

** OverusedGayJoke:  ** i can not believe you did that

** OverusedGayJoke: **  Its..Its priceless!

** BiBiHeteros: **  Shut upppp, EmoVamp! I WAS 9

** OverusedGayJoke: **  You are dating this EmoVamp

_** BiBiHeteros ** _ **  changed  _OverusedGayJoke_ 's name to  _EmoVamp_ **

_** EmoVamp  ** _ ** changed  _BiBiHeteros_ 's name to  _BloodBag_ **

_** Alexandraofnew  ** _ ** joined  _\---- > BloodFam!_ **

** Alexandraofnew:  ** Hey bro and bros bf!

** BloodBag: **  Hey

** EmoVamp: **  hI

** Alexandraofnew: **  do I even want to know..?

** Gremlin: ** _KeithdaVamp.png_

** Alexandraofnew: **  Om lord

** Alexandraofnew: ** My B R O T H E R, is dating  _a fluffy purple cat Emo vampire_

** BloodBag:  ** You are never living this down, Keith

** Gremlin: ** _ Lanceisenjoyingit.png _

** BloodBag; O M G **

** Alexandraofnew:  ** Pardon me but i need to go B L E A C H my eyeballs

_** Alexandraofnew ** _ **  left  ~~~~ _BloodFam!_ **

** BloodBag:  ** Why Pidge..

** EmoVamp: **  Heh, Karma

** Gremlin: **  Because I love torturing you 2

** BloodBag: **  I hate you so much

** Gremlin: **  Love you two <3

**EmoVamp:** <3  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, the BloodFam chat is a chat between family members and Lance invited the SpaceFam to the chat with his family sooooo...
> 
> Alexandraofnew- If you didn't know nobody except Lance and the Bloodfam know she is trans, and she prefers it that way. So 2 chaps ago when u were in Keith's POV he didn't know who Alex was so he assumed it was a sibling Lance never told him abt
> 
> In the 1st half everyone is greeting the BloodFam in their native language
> 
> Pidge: Italian  
> Shiro; Japanese  
> Hunk: Samoan  
> Keith: Korean (I think hes Koran, i forgot what he was)
> 
> the embarrassing story Rosa told them was when Lance was 9 he actually climbed the tallest tree to look "brave" for his classmates, but he got scared to climb down and just latched on, the firefighters had to come get him. But that didn't work and his Mom had to get off of work to bribe him with Garlic Knots to get him down


	10. Chapter 10

Hello, people of the multiverse! Tasi here, and I'm here to say that I most likely won't be able to post for a while. In 3 days Irma is going to hit us with a lot of force, and my mom and I were going crazy because  _EVERYTHING_ was sold out. 

After Irma passes the aftermath will most likely take a few weeks or maybe a month, it really depends. And to those out there in Puerto Rico, St. Martin, the Virgin Islands and those who are getting the full brunt if Irma, stay safe!

~~Tasi


	11. Self projection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EmoVamp: I dont even like popcorn, so hah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its me self-projecting me anger; I just wrote the 6th chapter for FTO;BTH, and my laptop deleted the file. Plus, I always get looks when I say I dont like popcorn, like how I also love the smell of gasoline.
> 
> ALSO, sorry for the delay! I was writing FTO;BTH and then Irma came around and- ahhh! Im sorry, Ill try to write more. Honestly, the only reason I can type this our is bcuz I am at a friends house. We couuldnt stay at home bcuz it was like, 86*F, enough to dehydrate and kill a person.

**_Gremlin_ joined  _\---- >  No one likes pineapple pizza_**

**Gremlin:** I am so upset rn

 **Princessa Mama:** What happned?

 **Gremlin:** So, when we got back and all the family reunions between my fam were done, I started a fanfic

 **MuscleMan:** Whats a "fan fic"?

 **Cookalil:** Its basically a fan of a certain form of entertainment (shows, movies, webcomics, etc) write fiction ( hence the name, fan fiction). The fans then can basically do whatever they want with the characters, be it pairing them with OC's other characters, or just make them suffer.

 **Princessa Mama:** Thats..

 **Princessa Mama:** frighting..

 **Cookalil:** I know, thats why ppl love it

 **Gremlin:** Back to my story,

 **Gremlin:** So, I was writing a fan fic based on us, but its like, with us being alien (and for Keith, more galra-y) and I was on the last chapter, but 

 **Cookalil:**   _but??_

 **Gremlin: BUTT,** I was running on like, 2 hrs of sleep??? so, I forgot to save it.

 **Gremlin:** and 2 top it off, the next morning I woke up and my aunt told me off, she's honestly just doing it to piss me off.

 **BloodBag:** Pideotto, I have already prepped a bunch of altean zulip movies over here. Get your butt over here before me cat eats all the popcorn

 **Space Dead:** You have a cat?

 **BloodBag:** No, but I do have a Keith

 **EmoVamp:** You pyanti! I dont even LIKE Popcorn, so hah!

 **Space Dead:** Still dosen't change the fact you are a giant purple cat

 **EmoVamp:** Oh my altea, SHIRO I WILL STAB YOU IF YOU DONT GET BACK HERE!

 **Space Dead:**   _YOU CANT CATCH ME OF I DISSAPEAR AGAIOCAOKWOPFKWKALWKFofojeo_

 **BloodBag:** I think Shiro just died,

 **BloodBag:** send help

 **Gremlin:** Ill be there in a tick

 **BloodBag:** to help??

 **Gremlin:** _No._

 **Gremlin:**  blackmail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created and Altean fan dictionary if u wanna know..
> 
> Zulip- basically crap
> 
> Quiznack- fuck
> 
> Xhucrack- HOLY SHIT
> 
> Tick- seconds
> 
> Pyanti- basically "little fucker"


	12. Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pride Pride Pride, WE ARE GOING ON A DATE
> 
> Gremlin: Pls be quiet

_**BloodBag** _ **joined _\---- > No one likes pineapple pizza_**

**BloodBag:** I am so fucking board

 **BloodBag** :  *bored

 **Gremlin** : board? wow, didn't know u had a thing for boards

 **Space Dead:** if u have a sexual interest in boards, we love and accept chu

 **Cookalil:** Not so sure on the love part....

 **BloodBag:** I hate u all, leave my kinks out of this, My bbies did nothing wrong!

**BloodBag:** _AND SHIRO SAID CHU!_

**Gremlin:**   U rlly are Japanese

 **Space Dead:** wha? What does that have torodoki with anything??

 **BloodBag:** did u just..

 **Gremlin:** make a BNHA pun??

 **Space Dead:** mayby

 **BloodBag:** mayby?

 **Gremlin:** may bby

**Gremlin changed Space Dead's name to: weebbaby**

**weebbaby:** I miraculously, hate u guys more and more each day..

**BloodBag:** _*evangalion voice* GET IN THE EVA, SHINJI!_

**Gremlin:** did u even watch the show?

 **BloodBag:** No, but I do know every meme alive

 **BloodBag:** Im pretty sure the reason I didn't pass half of my test was bcuz half of my brain cells uses are for memes

 **Gremlin:** same

\-------

_2:34_

**BloodBag:** im still bored

 **BloodBag:** and my fav sister is out of the house, Im so used to having action constantly. Im not used to this,..?

 **Cookalil:** peace?

 **BlooBag:** yeah..

 **Cookalil:** well,, ,maybe ask Alex where she is going?

 **BloodBag:** k...! Love u Hunkles <3

**Cookalil: /:**

**BloodBag: ):**

**Cookalil:** I love u 2 <3

**BloodBag: (:**

\--------

**_BloodBag_ opened a private chat with ** _**Alexandraofnew** _

**Alexandraofnew:** pls change ur name

**BloodBag:** _uhhh.._

**_BloodBag_  changed their name to: RoasterToster**

**RoasterToster:** better?

 **Alexandraofnew:** yeee.

 **Alexandraofnew:** anyways, whatcha need?

**RoasterToster:** _well..._

Im bored, so do u have anything I can see or go to?

 **Alexandraofnew:** There is a pride parade going on soon, wanna go with your bf?

**RoasterToaster:** _OH MY ALTEA!_

**Alexandraofnew:** altea??

 **RoasterToaster:** Its an alien planet.

 **RoasterToaster:** thanks 4 telling me!

BYEEEE

 **Alexandraofnew:** umm..

ciao?

\--------

 **RoasterToster:** KEIIITTTTHHHHH, MI AMOR, MI CORAZON, MI VIDA!!

 **EmoVamp:** yessssss????

 **RoasterToaster:** wanna go to a pride parade???!!

 **EmoVamp:** YESS! I have never been 2 1 be4

 **RoasterToster:** OKKK, now we GOTTA go! See u in a few?

 **EmoVamp:** OOKKKK, let me get out of Shiros hugs

 **RoasterToster:** lol

 **RoasterToaster:** good luck

\---------

 **RoasterToaster:** guuyssss

 **RoasterToaster:** I have a pride parade date with Keith, we are going to fly down to ft lauderdale

using Red, ofc

 **Gremlin:** _NOICCEEEE,_ I cant come bcuz I left green in the castle, plus, we are going bowling tommorow

 **weebbaby:** have fun!

 **Cookalil:** (*cough) dad (*cough*)

 **RoasterToaster:** oh, I see red, gotta blast!

 **Gremlin:** He just M E M E D us

 **Cookalil:** welcome to my world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, u read right, next chapter will be a date at a pride parade! Now, Ive never been 2 one, so I'm really just going off of other ppls povs, pls tell me in the next chap if there is anything wrong!


	13. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Te Amo"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date u have all been wating for.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING! THERE IS A SMALL HINT HOMOPHOBIA! IF YOU WANT TO SKIP IT STOP AT "2 hours" AND BEGIN AT THE NEXT LINE BREAK.

Keith gazed in awe at the scene, pride marks being drawn on flags, cheeks, clothes, and many more. He probably looked like a gaping fish, but it was so incredible. Back at the foster care homes his sexuality was being declared as "something to be ashamed of" which was why it took himself so long to finally come out to the team. Lance looked at him in pride, a Bisexuality flag painted on his right cheek.

They looked around at the parade taking place. Keith stopping to admire a poly group kissing, it was so sweet, and it filled Keith with the desire to show off his own boyfriend. Lance was pointing at everything, be it performences or a simple pug in a pride awareness suit. It was adorable.

Lance said he was getting hungry so they made their way to a nearby Burger King.

"Hello. Yes, can I get a number 4, no onions, no pickles and a sprite.-" Lance looked back at him and whispered, "What do you want?" Keith was startled by the look of pure adortion on the formers face, and he chocked out a fond "You."

Lance smiled, "I'm pretty sure they don't have me on the menu~", He winked at the shorter, "But does a Number 4 cut it?"

Keith smiled.

"Yep, that's perfect."

\----------------

2 hours into their pride date was when shit hit the fan, they were friendly conversing, hands intertwined with each other, when a family of 3 stares them dead in the eye. But that wasn't what was wrong, the pair were lecturing their 15 year old daughter about being a "disgrace" and "this is wrong". The girl looked terrified as she handed over her flag, the other bystanders were all enraged coming full speed ahead to support the young girl. The parade singers caught wind of this and sung louder as dancers made their way to the girl, encasing her with love and affection. 

Keith stared in awe before he moved, walking calmly over to the girl as he put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him.

"Hey, I know what that's like, but-" He glares at the parents who were beign ushered away by police , "I say 'Who gives a damm?' I may be a little bit different, everyone here is, but just because I like guys doesn't make me some monster. We are all here to remind ourselves of that fact, that we are all human inside, no matter what we like, or if we dont like anyone at all." 

Keith smiled at the girl before continuing.

"Bisexual, Asexual, Aromantic, Lesbian, Poly, Pansexual, Trans, Genderfluid, it doesn't matter, because if those people think that it's a sin, then ignore them. Trust me, I know how hard it is to block out those hateful words, that you'll find yourself collapsing, but look around. There are people who love and support you, sexuality and gender regardless." He exhales and looks to the girl, who looked near tears as she wrapped her arms around the former soldier, Lance smiled at him.

She sniffled.

"Thank you.."  

\---------------

Lance walks next to Keith on their way home, soveneirs from the parade in a bag Lance bought.  He moved towards his boyfriend, pulling him close as a few stray tears hit the formers shirt.

"I'm proud of you" He said, voice laced with love and affection.

"I just said what I knew I needed to hear back then" Keith snuggled closer as they drew near Red.

_"Te amo"_

Keith smiled a watery grin.

"I love you too, my Sharpshooter"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't even lie, this chapter was a little hard for me to write. But, This chapter is essential to Keiths acceptance of himself, he saw himself in the tiny girl and helped her. He saw how there was nothing wrong, this will strongly help Keith with his self-acceptance


	14. I can't believe you've done this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chap today 
> 
> Also, here's the name book
> 
> DreamDaddy: Shiro 
> 
> Gaylien: Keith 
> 
> RoasterToaster: Lance 
> 
> Cookalil: Hunk
> 
> RLGremlin: Pidge 
> 
> RL= Real life

 

_**RoasterToaster** _ **opened a new conversation**

 

 **RoasterToaster:**  I'm back B I T C H E S

 

 **Princessa Mama:** welcome back, Lance 

 

 **RoasterToaster:** Allura, I stg, you sound like Siri

 

 **Princessa Mama:** who the quiznack is Siri?

 

 **RLGremlin:** Did cha enjoy your date.

 

**Gaylien:** _Hell yes, we did_

 

 **RLGremlin:** care to explain???

 

 **Gaylien:** Ok, so we met like 2 homophobic ppl? The first time I comforted the girl and the second time Lance was so fucking done 

 **Gaylien:** So, my bf, kisses me aggressively while flipping off a whole protest that was against the LGBTQ+ community.

 

 **DreamDaddy:** Oh my Altea. 

 

 **Gaylien:** it get a better.

 **Gaylien:** So, everyone else at the parade takes it at as a signal to start making out, so all u see is a group of teens making out with their boyfriends/girlfriends 

 

 **Cookalil:** Klance, I need to go hug you 

 

 **RoasterToaster:** u know we r 2 separate ppl right?

 

_**Cookalil** _ **left the chat**

 

 **RoasterToaster:** I can't believe you've done this 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Look at my boyfriend talking 2 Miyu

_**RoasterToaster** _ **renamed "new conversation" to _I love my new Poly friends_**

 **DreamDaddy:** What's this about?

 **RoasterToaster:** so, u know how me and Keith told u guys about the pride parade date?

 **RLGremlin:** yeah, because you wouldn't shut up about it over rabbit.

 **Cookalil:** It was honestly kinda sweet

 **RLGremlin:** Gay relationships "Its honestly kinda sweet"

 **RoasterToaster:** Anyways, Keith and I met this poly group, and they were soooooo nice. Keith is making friends with the amo one named Miyu. Personally, I like Kayla more, but I also like Max, he's nice.

 **RoasterToaster:**  [Look at my boyfriend talking to Miyu ](https://plus.google.com/photos/photo/110570966756133449656/6474172074664813570?icm=false&iso=true&authkey=CIf617XfoOiWDQ)

  **DreamDaddy:** that's aDOORable 

 _**RoasterToaster, RLGremlin,** _ **and _Cookalil_ left the chat**

 **DreamDaddy:** Did I do something wrong


	16. Take your sanity and run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MaxMillion: care to explain?
> 
> Gaylien: *sighs* here we go again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,,, so, I sorta ran out of inspiration for the stick? But don't worry I got back out of my writer's block! And I gift you this short little thing! Also we get to learn the true backstory that I never got to tell because didn't fit the plot at the time, but now you can see it.

**RoasterToaster:** Hey, soo

 **RoasterToaster:** would u guys mind if I added Max, Miyu, and Kayla to the group?

 **DreamDaddy:** *wipes tear*  look at our boy grow

 **Cookalil:** they go so fast 

 **Gaylien:** _So._ Can we?

 **RLGremlin:** go for it.

**_RoasterToaster_ ** **added _MaxMillion, MiyuPiyu, KaylaSayYah_**

**RoasterToaster:** welcome, sane ones 

 **RoasterToaster:** cherish your sanity while you still have it 

 **MaxMillion:** I already lost it when I met these two 

 **KaylaSayYah:** HEY!

 **RLGremlin:** I have a favorite already 

_**PrincessaMama** _ **joined the chat**

**PrincessaMama:** I leave for five seconds 

 **PrincessaMama:** and you All make new friends 

 **PrincessaMama:** _why_ couldn't you be like this when we we're holding diplomatic meetings with alien species

 **MiyuPiyu:** wha 

**RoasterToaster:** _'LURA!_

**DreamDaddy:** it was bound to happen sooner or later 

 **MaxMillion:** what alien species?

 **PrincessaMama:** _Oh!_ did you not tell them? 

 **KaylaSayYah:** care to fill us in ?

 **RLGremlin:** just search "Human Soldiers returning from a space war after 5 years, return victorious.

 **KaylaSayYah:** K..

_**KaylaSayYah** _ **made ( HOLD THE PHONE) with** _**MiyuPiyu and MaxMillion** _

**KaylaSayYah:** babe, liliflower!

 **MaxMillion:** yeah?

 **MiyuPiyu:** mhmm?

 **KaylaSayYah:** we were just texting the literal  _DEFENDERS OF THE UNIVERSE_

 **MaxMillion:** no way 

**KaylaSayYah:** _YES WAY_

**_KaylaSayYah sent a link_ **

**MiyuPiyu:** _holy butter cups from the heavens_

_**KaylaSayYah disbanded this group chat** _

**MaxMillion:** can you explain?

 **Gaylien:** *sighs* here we go again..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying, well I was writing I'm dying, well I was writing Shiro's username, it corrected dream daddy to dream saddy.


	17. Fight me in the back of a Wendy's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RoasterToaster: they're just eating Wendy's and watching Bolt wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this for that one commenter last chapter

 

 **RoasterToaster:** so yah, basically we were kidnapped by this giant blue kitten and then went to space to fight smaller, purple-ier cats which hated our guts. And then we beat them with the power of friendship

 **RoasterToaster:** which, now that I'm thinking bout it, dosent make a lot of sense seeing as it was cadets vs alien warlords..

 **RLGremlin:** in this essay I will....

 **MaxMillion:** wow.. that's a lot. 

 **MiyuPiyu:** hard to believe that the boi who ranted to us about mothman and Bigfoot helping each other hide from us is a legendary defender.

 **Cookalil:** it gets worse

 **DreamDaddy:** i once crushed a whole powdered donut box and ate them on the table while yelling at Adam (my ex)

 **RLGremlin:** ladies and gentlemen, our black paladin!!

 **RoasterToaster:** what a legend 

 **Cookalil:** he ate,, donuts,,, without his hands,, after crushing them,,,with his thighs...

 **Gaylien:** has a bad habit of leaving, would return again

_**DreamDaddy changed their name to DreamSaddy** _

**DreamSaddy:** :(

 **Gaylien:**  choke and die

 **DreamSaddy:** already did u unoriginal cat 

 **Gaylien:** fight me in the back of a Wendy's 

 **DreamSaddy:** gladly.

 

 

**_11:14 PM_   
**

 

 **RoasterToaster:** they're just eating Wendy's and watching Bolt wtf


End file.
